Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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