i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
