dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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