My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
