Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
