So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
