I could have mohawked her pubes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
