I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
COCAINE IS GR8
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
