He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
