): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
