you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
