That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
