I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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