You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
