It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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