i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
