she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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