whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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