There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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