I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize