I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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