she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
