do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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