Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
