no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
