he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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