The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
