she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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