i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
