I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
