You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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