We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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