I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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