If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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