oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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