she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
