my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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