He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
