I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
