First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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