Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
