Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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