Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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