I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
