Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
