When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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