The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
