I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
