I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
