You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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