good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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