he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
