im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
