he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
