let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
