We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
