He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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