please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
