I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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