he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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