we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
