do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
