I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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